The End

pg 202-291

Summary-  Riley and Dylan borrowed Bird's car. The car is really old and it is a car that Bird found in Spirit Ranch that he fixed. The car had many problems, but Riley chose to drive it anyways. She hoped that going to Salt Lake would heals Ryley, but on their way there they crashed and a wheel feel off the car. Riley and Dylan got in the lake even though they knew that Dylan wasn't going to get healed. Riley went to the lake, just because she hoped and wanted Dylan to get healed. Riley and Dylan were stuck in the desert so they slept there.  Riley also had sex with Dylan, even though Dylan at first told Riley that just because they were alone didn't mean they had to do stuff. Then Dylan changed his mind and they did it. The day after Dylan and Riley were rescued by Chloe. Chloe was with the boy Riley had a crush on before and she was driving around looking for Riley.
        Chloe took Riley and Dylan back to Spirit Ranch, to find that their parents were waiting for them. They were obviously in big trouble and Dylan had no choice but go to home with his mother. Riley had the choice to Stay in camp for one more day and she chose to stay. She had made a good decision by staying because she wanted to finish what was left undone at camp. Before leaving Dylan got Riley's contact information and gave her a last kiss.
          On the last day of camp Riley had to be part of the camp's final shows as a punishment. She chose to read out loud "Sir Thomas More's prayer". In this prayer she acknowledges that she does believe in God and that she does believe in her religion. She know does believe in something which says is Dylan. Now she has hope and faith in herself. She is now friends with Fleur who was her enemy and she is accepted by her other camp members. She also accepts herself and admits that she has enjoyed going to Spirit Ranch

Quote- "Roslyn's thought for the morning for the morning had been this : go on knocking and it shall be opened to you. I closed my eyes and pictured the world and all its hinges. It was open, just a crack. There was a thin silver of light. I could almost touch it." (Howell 291)

Reactions -  After reading this whole book, I can say it is very interested and it makes me want to know what happens after the end. Riley does grow up and leans to accept herself. She isn't scared of actually trying to have real safe fun instead of doing drugs. In the end of the story Riley goes back to the bench she would always go to for a smoke, but this time all she did was reflect on what she has done. This shows that she is maturing and isn't running away from her problems. She is also more self-confident, because before running away Riley played volleyball with her other camp member which is something she would not have done before. She couldn't stand the thought of being physically active while people see her flesh .
                    The quote above pretty much acts like a conclusion for the whole story. Riley's voice in this is older and a little wiser. She now notices there are so many paths/roads in life which refers to ask hinges in the world. This quote also shows that she is almost at the point where she can go on a new path. She says that there she can almost touch the silver light, since she has already opened the door to a new Riley. Spirit ranch really did change Riley's way of looking at the real world.

Growing Up

Pages 152-201

Summary- Riley's characters has grown up a lot in this part of the story. She still has a lot of growing up to do, but she has to become more mature. Riley is still thinking about going to the party at home which means that she still wants to run away. She was waiting for Dylan to come back from the pharmacy but he took too long, so she chose to run away without saying good-bye. As Riley walked away from camp she saw Trevor (Neville's boyfriend) driving by her with Dylan. It turns out that Dylan had tried to escape and he said he was going to the pharmacy to buy things for the campers as an excuse for getting out of camp. Riley and Dylan were driven back to camp.
          Riley and Dylan were not sent home under the condition that they would help clean out a thee-room cottage in the camp. They were able to get to know each other better and joke around while cleaning up the cottage. Riley is starting to feel more comfortable around Dylan and he is also okay with talking to her about his wheelchair. He even opens up to he about the accident that got him in the wheel chair. Dylan also opens up about the relationship he once had with Fleur.
         Towards the end of this section of the story Riley find outs that there is a salt lake near Spirit Ranch that supposedly has healing powers. She decides to make a petition to get Neville to take the camper to salt lake. She hopes that the lake will heal Dylan and enable him to walk again. Riley ends up getting everyone to sign the petition, but Neville already has field trips planned out for the campers. Riley does not give up so she went to Neville's office to call Chloe to tell her sorry for not running away. At the same time Riley sees Neville's car keys, which gave her an idea. I am assuming she is going to take Bird's dune buggy and leave without permission.

Quote- "Roslyn said that to be a good person you had to believe in God, and to believe in God you have to be open as a child. You had to believe in anything. I wasn't open. I was tight as a trap. I smoothed my hand over the notebook's dusty cover. Five minutes ago "healing"was just a word in Norma's New Age Lexicon. Now it seemed like a good prospect." (Howell 188)

Reactions- I really like this part of the book, because Riley's character is changing. She doesn't swear as much and she tries to help other camp member like Bird,Sarita, and Dylan. It seems like it is hard for her to open up. The quote above is a good description of Riley's personality. The quote shows that she isn't "open", because she never really shows others how she feels. She acts like she is tough, but she does have feelings. One person she can relate to is Dylan, who acts strong but is always trying to escape. He tries to escape from his wheelchair and live the life he once had, but he can't. This is a story of a girl who is going through problems that many teenagers go through. She has body-image problems and you can even say trust issue. There is a part in the story where she says that she has slept with boys just to feel loved even though she doesn't like the boys she slept with.
            Riley's character will probably continue to mature into a wiser person and she will be more confident. She is starting to change by opening herself up and actually having a "prospect". She is starting to change by having a goal which is to heal Dylan. Riley is starting to believe in healing, but before she believed in nothing. This shows she may belief in God.

Making New Friends

Pages 86-151

Summary-  So many things have happened in the chapters I have read. Riley thinks that she "likes" Craig and she actually meets him at midnight. She is physically attracted to him and they kissed, but Craig wanted to have sex with her without a condom. Riley told Craig she wasn't going to do anything without a condom so Craig felt rejected. In th emorning he told everyone about that Riley tried ot forced him to have sex with her. Riley felt angry and she again feels out of place. In a way Riley is like camp outcast. Even her roommate,Sarita , doesn't talk to her anymore. Her clothes also got stolen while she was taking a shower, which also made her furious.
         Then Riley learns that there is someone she can be real friends with in the camp. Dylan is a lot like her. Dylan isn't treated like the cool guy he was once, now that he is in a wheelchair. Riley learns that Dylan doesn't like when people look at him like a handicap or think he is not capable of doing stuff on his own. Riley and Dylan talked about their emotions and their life. It seems like acually talking about life and feelings is new to Riley and a good change. Riley is starting to open up more and realizing what is wrong with her. She actually brokedowns when Roslyn (one of the camp leaders) told her "You're all close up. What are you thinking? Just say it." (Howell 144)
           Riley is still thinking about escaping on Wednesday. Riley tried to call Chloe. but the camp leader wouldn't her. This did not change her mind. She was just waiting for Dylan to back from the pharmacy with the products she needs to give Sarita a makeover. She wants Sarita to forgive her for meeting up with Craig before, leaving the camp.

Quote-  "I don't believe in you Roslyn. I don't believe in Spirit Ranch. And I don't believe in your God. He let my mother die a week before I got my first period, when I really could have used the girl-talk. He gave me a wonky cycle. Which in turn made thedoctor put me on the Pill. Which in turn made me fat. Which in turn made me anxious." (Howell 144)


Reactions   I love that as the days pass in camp Riley starts opening up more. It is like he character is growing up slowly. She admits that she has problems. I actally learn about other characters even though the story is told from Riley's perspective, because there is a lot of dialogue being used.
                   The quote is agood example of Riley just getting out of her shell. Spirit Ranch is actually changig who she is, but  it is too early for her too notice. She tells the camp counselor why she doesn't belive in God. In other words she is unhappy and has no hope, because of eveyrthing that has happened to her in her life. She thinks God took her mother away to hurt her and he blames God for everything. Riley is also insecure about her body because hse mentions she is fat, because she is on the "Pill". Hopefully Riley will be accepted into society and camp members. First she is going to have to accept who she is. I also think that Riley may become Dylan's girlfriend, because they have become good friends in such a short time.

Changes & Meeting New People

pages 41-85

Summary - (First Day of Camp)  In this part of the story Riley is getting know other members of the summer camp. She doesn't seem to like the idea of staying in Spirit Ranch for a week, because she thinks that "...the whole God thig was impose.Godliness was next to dubiousness." (Howell 44) Riley sort of feels creeped out by other camp members in the beginning, because they acted like angels. Then she realizes that their not all good campers. The protagonist (Riley) also gives the reader hints about her behavior. She says that she has done things like taking drugs, drinking alcohol, and having sex. It is also shown that people think she is fat and that she has always been bugged about it including now.
       Riley also starts talking to two camp members called Dylan and Craig. They are both popular in Spirit Ranch. Riley was impressed by the looks of Dylan and Craig. All the girls in Spirit Ranch have a crush on Craig and every girl had a crush on Dylan until he got in an accident, which got him in a wheel chair. She actually starts thinking about how it would be like to go out with one of them, which shows that she is still very immature. During breaks Riley often goes outside to smoke with Dylan and even gets "high" with him. 
       On the next day Riley finds out that Craig is going out with a girl named Fleur that also goes to Spirit Ranch. She also becomes friends with her room mate,Sara, who wants to die. Then in a field trip Riley fell from her canoes and her breast was revealed. She was completely embarrased and went to take a smoke. The weird things is that Craig still talks to Riley, even though she doesn't have a reputation. It looks like he is going to be a bad character in this story, because he flirts with Riley but he has a girlfriend.
* Riley still plans on leaving the camp on Wednesday and she even called Chloe to make sure they were both on the same page.

Quote- "Dylan was dozing, listening to something on his MP3. I could hear it enough to know it was hard core...I pulled the white cord out of his left ear. "Can I have some of that?".....He smiled and turned the volume up and the singer screamed and raged against an insane beat. I blocked my other ear with my hand and let the chaos in." (Howell 76)

Reactions- The author doen't really use foreshadowing but Howell does use imagery. The setting of the story is always described and so is the atmosphere. The story is told from a first-point of view so I am able to learn a lot from Riley. I am only allowed to see everything from Riley's persepective which may not be hundred percent accurate. I like that the story is told from a made up a teenager's point of view. I also like Riley's character because she is a rebel but I can infer that she will change by the end of the story since sh eis the protagonist. So far I can't see that Riley is accepting herself and society still does not accept her. She is still in the first two steps of a bildungsroman.
           The quote above shows that Rile is building a friendship with Dylan and at the same time it shows that Riley doesn't face her problems. In the quote Riley sits with Dylan after being embarrased in the lake. She does not want to be made fun of so she just run away from her problems. For example, in this case Riley listens to music to calm down but then on other days she smokes or gets high. It's like the wants to shut out the outside world and stay in her own little world.
        

Everything Beautiful by:Simmone Howell

pages 1-40
Summary- This section of the story is basically an introduction on the main character. The protagonist in this story is Riley Rose. She is in high school and and known for acting like a rebel. Riley tries to be happy by going to parties, drinking, and trying to be "cool" like her friend Chloe. Riley mentions that her mother died and I can assume that her mother's death is one of thereasons for her actions. She is also bothered by her father's girlfriend, Norma, even though she is kind and makes her father happy. It seems like Riley thinks Norma is replacing her mom.
          Riley is sent to a summer camp for seven days called Spirit Ranch, but she doesn't plan on staying. Riley got a letter from her friend Chloe with a ticket for a bus to Melbourne. She would rather escape and go to the party of aboy she has a crush on.
        
Quote- "My mother,Lilith Maree Rose, died two years ago,when I was fourteen. Of all the facts of my life, this was the one that wouldn't change." (Howell 10)

Reactions- So far this book seems to be very interesting and it is eay to see that this is a bildungsroman. A lot of teenagers can probably relate to the situation that Riley is in. I also like how the first chapter of the book gives the reader a little sneek peek of what's going to happen later on. I can infer that Riley is going to become close friends with the boy (Dylan) that is mentioned in the first page and that she is going to run away from him.
      This quote shows that Riley has been greatly affected by her mother's death. I think that she acts the way she does to fill up the hole that she has. She says she can't change that part of her life which makes me things that she tries to change other things in her life to make herself happy. She must of been affected mentally by her mom's death.

The End & The Adventure Begins

pages 216-340

Summary- So many important things happened in this section of the book. David moved from the Cantanzes home, because it was a big problem moving back after everyone knowing about his problems and juvenile hall. Although David was attached to Lilian and Rudy he was "placed" in the home of Alice and Harold for fours day and then "placed" in the foster home of Joanne and Michael. He is now thirteen years old so he is more mature and starts to notice what's going on around him. He starts noticing that Michael and Joanne got in arguments, because Michael didn't want the presence of David in his home. Knowing that things would only get worse he told his social worker,Gordon that he needed another home. David wrote down the addresses and phone numbers of all his foster homes to keep in touch with those who helped him.
        Then David is moved to a foster home less than one miles from his mother's residence. During David's months in Fernando Riviera Junior High he became friends with a boy called Carlos. Even though they didn't speak the same language they could read each others minds.  While walking home David chooses to pass by his old elementary school and he meets his brother Russell. The next day David goes back to his school to see Russell, but he meets his mother there who tries to follow him. His friendship with Carlos doesn't last since his foster father is accused of raping one of the girls who lived in the foster home ,so David is taken back to Alice's house. During his stay with Alice he meets with a psychiatrists who helps him understand things better and gets David to read books on basic psychology. As he grows older David worries about how he is going to survive on his own in the real world when he turns 18. As a result he starts getting jobs and earning his own money. Alice gets 3 new foster children who steal David's money so one day he decides to move on.
      David had to stay in a juvenile hall for a couple of weeks and then he was "placed" with John and Linda Walsh.  John and Linda moved with David to Duinsmoore Drive where he experiences his happiest teenager years. He befriended to boys who lived in the neighborhood. He held races with his friends in the streets and he had a new adventure with them everyday.  Some people from the neighborhood judged him for being a foster child, because they believed that foster children weren't capable of doing anything.  There was one man that helped him go through the obstacles he faced who was called Mr.Marsh and who became his mentor. He gave David a book about airplanes which made David happy since he always liked airplanes. Then David moves back again with Alice and Harold to find out that they are the "mom" and "dad" he had been searching for.  David dropped out of high school to continue working since he wanted money that he would need in the future. He enlisted in the United States Air Force.

Quote
   "In March 1994 I was in Ohio presenting a keynote address to local enforcement officer,teachers and social  service workers.The lady who preceded me made a statement that made everything  crystal clear : It takes a community to save a child."  (Pelzer 313)

Reactions 

        This part of the story is where David realizes that he shouldn't worry about the past anymore. From what the narrator says I can say that he just wants to look in the future and stops trying to find out why he went through all that abuse. Pelzer also uses foreshadowing to show that something bad is going to happen. When he lives with one of his foster parents he explains that he feels likes back in his mother's house because his mother would always yell. I think this book was mainly written to show what foster children go through and the role their social workers and foster parents play in their life. The quote above shows that David now understands how each person in his life made him a responsible adult. He couldn't have saved himself without the help of his teachers who called the polices and his former social worker Ms.Gold ,who he called his angel. The epilogue also demonstrates that Dave Pelzer wrote this book to show that the system of foster homes is good but the hard thing is "adapting" to it. He still remembers all his foster parents and how they helped him survive.

Another Obstacle

pages 154-215

Summary   In this part of the story David choose to close himself from others, because he is scared of getting hurt again. David is out of school and he wants to play out in the summer sun but he is scared of other kids picking on him. As a result David steals candies and toys from the store to fill up the hole he has. Stealing and misbehaving is just a distraction from his reality. One day he gets tricked by a boy called Johnny to steal a toy from Walgreen but in the end he finds out that Johnny's father is the store manager. Another important event is when he runs away from his foster home even thought he comes back. Rudy and Lilian, David's foster parents,are aware of his odd behavior and decide to call Ms.Gold. David confesses that to Ms.Gold that he feels upset,because there's so many things he doesn't understand but he wants to understand. He doesn't know if he should love,hate, or forgive his mother.
            When David goes back to school he starts feeling ashamed of the clothes he wears so he starts hanging out with the wrong group. He becomes friends with a boy called John who has a gang. In order for David to join the gang he has to do something that shows he is tough. John makes him be a look out ,while John burns down the school. The next day David is accused of starting the fire but he was the one who stopped the fire by turning it off. The police obviously finds out so he is take to a juvenile hall in Hillcrest.
              During David's stay in juvenile hall David's father visited him ,after a year of no contact. His biological father said that he would never forgive David because he practically ruined their family and that he couldn't imagine what people thought of him in the fire station. Then Lilian visits David to inform him that his mother is fighting for him to get him into a mental institution. His mom was waiting for him to screw up and this was the perfect moment for her. David's foster parents won the case, so he wasn't sent to a mental institution. He just had to stay for 34 more days in the juvenile hall for being accused of arson. When David gets out of the juvenile hall he calls Lilian mom for the second time and calls her house his home. This was a very emotional moment.

Quote   " ... I didn't want to leave. In the "outs"-the outside world-it was too easy for me to get into trouble. While at Hillcrest I had grown use to my surroundings. I knew exactly what was expected of me. I felt safe and secure. As Carl Miguel escorted me to the front desk, he explained that the outside world would indeed be the real test of my survival." (Pelzer 215)


Reactions  When I read this it really made me realize how being rejected by his family made him feel. He felt confused and ashamed of he was, because he didn't really understand what he was going through. The narrator has an young voice in this part of the story. Although I can see what the narrator is feeling he doesn't really explain he feels that way. He just says he is confused and he doesn't go to deep into why he chooses to steal and join a gang. The reader has to put the pieces to gather and guess that David is just trying to take his mind off his life by focusing on unimportant things things that will get the wrong attention.
     This quote is important to the story since it shows that David is still going to face more obstacles. It kind of foreshadows that once ha goes back out he is going to have to face another problem. In this quote David tells us that he doesn't feel safe or secure in the real word, so I can assume that is why he got into so much trouble. As a foster child he is going to go through prejudice, but he is going to have find a way to survive.

Accepting Reality

pages 120-153

Summary
           In this part of the story David is trying to accept his life and who he is. He is facing identity problems because of the abuse he went through with his mother and he is willing to do anything for others to accept him. David knows that his mother doesn't love him for who he is and he feels that he never deserved her love or warmth. He always tries to think that it is going to get better and that one day he will be able to live with his father. For example one day his foster mother,Lilian, lets him know that his father is going to pick him up at 7 am and he stays waiting for him in the living for hours. Although he knows that his father stood him up he won't accept that it's not going  to be different this time. He hoped that his dad was just late but he never came just like all the other times.
            David also tries to get in contact with his mother but he just ends up getting in trouble. One of the situations when he rode his bike near his bike with his foster brother, Big Larry, even though he is not allowed to go near his mother or brother. As a result his mother calls Lilian during the afternoon "ranting and raving "   ( Pelzer 140) about David and how Lilian can't control him. She warns Lilian that she is going to take care of finding someone that can manage David if she can't however David didn't understand how big the problem was. At this level David's foster parents start to realize that he has a problem, but David doesn't want to admit it. He is trying to cover up all the conflict in his life even if it makes him hurt more inside.

Quote

         "I just could not accept the realities of my life. How in God's name did I let it come to this? I asked myself. I knew, as I stood staring out the living room window, that I would another day hiding in the only place I felt safe and warm-the covers of my bed."  (Pelzer 147)

Reactions
                   
             Dave Pelzer really  lets the reader into his mind and feelings that he felt after moving to his foster home. He reveals that he did face a problem while trying to live a new life without his mother. In this part of the story I read that there were times where he just locked himself up in the room and he hid his feelings. He didn't feel welcome in society which is one of the conflicts his faces. As I read more and more I am starting to realize that this is a bildungsroman where the character leaves his home and faces a conflict. David still had not reached the final step of being accepted into society or even accepting his reality. The quote above basically shows what David is facing in this part of the story. It explains that David reached a point where he was just tired of people thinking that he needed help ,being humiliated by others including his foster brother Larry Jr.so he wants to believe that everything is his fault. I wonder how he was able to cope with feeling insecure and the need of having to hide what you feel because your scared of what others will think of you.

New Beginnings

Summary
 pages 42-120
           In this part of the story David gets use to his new home and he gets introdiuced to his social worker, Ms.Gold, who becomes his best friend. David had many private sessions with Ms.Gold where he talked about his feelings and what his mother did to him. As the days got closer to the trial David started getting mixed feelings about telling the judge the truth, because he felt that he was betraying his mother. In the end David decides to tell the truth when he notices how he has changed for the  best after moving in with Aunt Mary. After David became a ward of the court he stayed with Aunt Mary for a while and then he moved in with his new foster mom Lilian Catanze. He became close to his foster brother Big Larry but he always got into fights with Larry Junior. To my surprise David's biological mother visited David with his brothers and brought him his old bike which he had only drived twice. His mother did not talk to him or acknowledge that he was there which made him feel that he wasn't loved and made him wonder why his mother didn't love him. David starts living the life of  a normal kid now he rides his bike whenever he gets the chance and his relationship with Lilian starts growing into a mother-son relationship.

 Quote
       "I remember August 21,1973 as my day on my bike. That day was the first time I felt that I was a normal kid, caught up in the splendor of a never-ending day. For years I heard the sound of kids zooming down the street, screaming with joy as they flew by on their bikes." (Pelzer 107) This quote shows that David never had the chance to be a kid. This is a good example of how David's life has changed for the good since he left his mother's prison.

 Reaction 
         Dave Pelzer uses a lot of strong dialogue between the characters in this story to let the reader know what the characters are going through.  He doesn't use many other literary devices but the words he uses are powerful. In the quote he uses italics to make certain words standout. In the quote the words my and normal are italicized, because they show what the author is trying to explain. David was able to ride a bike after so many eyars without having to worry about anything else like a normal kid. He didn't live the life of a normal boy before the trial, but now he has freedom. This is an important quotation to understand because it kind of shows the main idea of this part of the story where he is adapting to his new life. He is able to enjoy the little things like other children to look up to and he can talk to her about how he feels without being afraid that Lilian is going to hit him. The quote shows the new beginnings of his life.

Roar Blog- Trying to Find a New Home

pages read: 1-41

Summary- This book describes the life of a boy named David who's abused mentally and emotionally by his mother, but he is eventually sent to a foster home. David's story takes place in Daly City, California during the 1970s. In the first pages are an introduction of David's life and what he has to go through everyday. He lives in the garage with no heat and all he eats are his family's leftovers. Sometimes David steals food but then he is forced to throw up everyday to prove that he didn't steal food. After so many years of being beat up for his mother's pleasure, David starts believing that he deserves to be treated like an animal. One day David's mother gets in argument with his father about the way she treats David. The mother tells David that he can just run away if he thinks he isn't being treated right. Eventually the police finds him and brings him back to his parents. Then finally on March 5, 1973 David's teachers and other staff memebers notified the police about his situation. He is taken to the county hospital to get all different types of examinations. His body is covered in bruises which surprised the nurse. At the end he is taken to a foster home owned by a nice lady called "Aunt Mary".

Quote- "As long as I could remember, I had always wiped my tears and retreated inside of my shell. This time I refused to wipe the tears away. I could feel the tears reach my lips,tasted the salt and let the tear dry on my skin as the rays from the sun baked throught the windshield. I wanted to remember that tear not as a tear of fear ,anger or sorrow, but as one of joy and freedom. I knew that from that moment on, everything in my life was new." (Pelzer 38)  This quote is a good representation of David Pelzer's style because it shows that he likes to use symbols in his writing. In this quote the tear represents a new beginning for David.

Reaction- The author has a very direct way of writing. since the story is written from a first point of view. He uses metaphors and similers throughout the story, but he also uses symbols. For example, in the quote Dave Pelzer uses the tear as a symbol of happiness and and a new life. He makes it seem like I'm standing behind him and staring at everything he's been through. This is an important  quotation to understand, because in a way it foreshadows what may happen in the next couple of chapter. For the first time David doesn't hide in his shell which shows that things are going to change. The quote also makes me think that he is done with the abuse since he is in a foster home and he is going to look for a new family. The tear also represents his new freedom and all the new things he is going to be free to do now that he is away from his mother.